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How Gripping is Your Fear?
By Linda A. Annan
It takes over your mind like a dark cloud, and sort of pulls away every muscle in your heart. Sometimes there is nothing the heart can do but to give in to this terrible feeling; one that cripples and stunts your growth, one powerful enough to outwit your heart. How does the saying go? “Sometimes your heart doesn't do what your mind tells it to.” Not with this feeling. Once it grips your gem of a mind, it turns it into dry stone and saps away all energy and optimism. You may wonder if this is why we deify it so much. In “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” we learn of Potter's tremendous fear of “dementors” (death eaters), who are able to evoke the same feelings fear creates in us. The interesting thing about dealing with both “dementors” and fear is that in order to be rid of them, you would need to take control of your mind and master them -the only way to ward off their negative effects.
What are you hiding?
Within all of us, beneath smiling faces and seemingly joyful lives, beneath the hard, concrete outward appearances, lay this gloomy, threatening emotion called fear. For some, it may be extreme, even gripping, while others have managed to suppress and control it. Some may not even know how to deal with it. But how much of your life do you really want to be controlled by fear this year? Have you acknowledged your own personal fears to even begin to master them? In the same Harry Potter series mentioned above, Potter was coached by his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to recognize his biggest fear, after which he was to train his mind and master how to not allow it to be overtaken by the emotion.
Fear, as everyone may know, does more than impede personal growth; it has the ability to hinder us from achieving goals and dreams. It can inhibit us from experiencing true joy, leaving us empty and helpless. Have you ever had a vision you failed to act upon simply because you never thought you would succeed? Have you ever stepped back from taking that risk? Not necessarily career-related but risks in other areas of your life? Very few people actually take the course of challenging themselves to overcome these sorts of fears. The question is what is holding us back? What is preventing us from achieving the things we know can make our lives more rewarding?
Understanding Your Fear and Mastering it
For some of us we become so cautious and doubtful of ourselves that we give up in defeat; we stop going after the things we know will give us deep satisfaction in our lives. We fear we may not succeed, that we are not good enough. We begin to compare ourselves to others, an act that can be very crippling, and then think we are not a match and that it is impossible to embark on a dream. This is the fear of failure.
Yet, for some of us, our fears are those that “threaten” our vulnerability, the dreadful thought of being completely exposed and the uncertainty of acceptance once we are bare. We allow our past painful experiences to continuously knead hard cakes of dough around us, jamming us into tight boxes that leave no room for freedom to overcome them.
Another batch of us cannot even stand the thought of the word commitment. I am not referring to one particular gender or relationship-related issues only, but also to the fear of commitment in other areas of our lives. To us, committing to something or even someone is too much work, too much investment, too much risk, and the fear takes over. We would rather bail out quickly, as soon as we sight instability, than to stay and persevere. For some of us this fear of commitment may stem from having been rejected after investing our hearts and souls into something, making us hesitant about offering it again. We do not realize that by not committing we are in fact giving fear the upper hand. We think that because we have not committed to whatever it may be, we are in control. This self-deceit may keep us going for a while, that is, until reality sets in and we finally see how many great opportunities have passed us by.
Many of you may have set resolutions for yourselves this year; others may have overlooked it because these pledges are usually broken most of the times anyway. Whatever your resolution for this year may be, I would encourage you to not allow fear to hinder you from achieving it. Whether it is a career move or something you want so badly but have been crippled by fear from attaining. Go for it, and even if it ends up being “unsuccessful” in your eyes, at least you know that you conquered the fear.
Overcoming fear does not kill us; it does not drown us in misery like we anticipate it would. Instead, it takes us to the next level in life; it brings clarity and most definitely a slight joyful victory as part of our personal growth. Be fearless this year and see what happens!
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