Natural Hair at the Workplace

Imagine two equally qualified women of African descent are applying for a job.  They both have excellent resumes and great interviews.  One woman has straight, permed hair while the other woman has a natural hairdo.  Who do you think is more likely to get the job?

For decades, wearing of natural hair has been controversial and the debate has intensified as African people and their cultures have grown more prevalent. A significant example of this occurred in 1971 in the case of Melba Tolliver, a news reporter who wore an afro when covering the wedding of President Richard Nixon’s daughter.  The station threatened to take her off air, drawing national attention.

A similar situation escalated ten years later when Dorothy Reed, a news reporter from San Francisco, was fired for wearing cornrows with beads on the air.  The station called her hairdo “inappropriate and distractive.”  This decision sparked a two week national dispute which climaxed in a NAACP demonstration outside the station.  Reed was then reinstated and compensated for her time off.  She returned on air with cornrows, but no beads.

These incidences demonstrate that discrimination based on hair texture does indeed exist.

Hiring and promoting based on skin color is illegal but why are questions barely raised

when it comes to hair texture?  Allowing yourself to be discriminated against because of

your hair is no more acceptable than being discriminated against for your skin color.  You will not be marginalized anymore than you allow.

Just like Tolliver and Reed, let us fight to be accepted just as we are born: African and beautiful.  Standing up will prepare a better world for girls and young women born after us.

Cut Your Losses

During my very short years here on earth, I have noticed that women tend to be very emotional about a lot of things.  Let me explain: as women our buildup naturally causes us to be more emotional than men.  That being the case, it’s difficult for some of us to let go; we think we have to be there for everyone and a lot of times we put up with nonsense just because we don’t want to hurt anyone.  The truth of the matter is, sometimes in life you’ve just got to cut your losses.

When something is not working out or a horrible incident occurs, we need to learn how to move past it.  Take for instance friendship. What do you do when it is falling apart?  I mean after you have done all you can and it still seems you are the only one in the friendship, I really believe it is time for the next step.  Do not allow anybody to let you feel you can’t go on with your life without them.  If it is not working out, as difficult as it may be and trust me it will be hard, you have to let it go.

As women, we feel the pressure all the time to be there and be everything for everybody.  Unfortunately, that is not humanly possible.  There comes a point when you have to take time out for you because you need care too.  For anyone who doesn’t understand that and neither appreciate you, then girl just cut them lose and keep your life moving.  You don’t have to put up with any nonsense from anyone.  Life is too short to be fussing because of other people or circumstances; it is not worth it.  If people want to walk out of your life, please cut them lose.

No matter what hand life has dealt you, always remember that as a woman you possess phenomenal strength to overcome any and everything.  Philippians 4:13 says it best: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  No matter what, always stay true to who you are and remember, if you have to, cut your losses.

Tags: emotional women, letting go of friendships, true friendships, women and friendships

When to Call it Quits

In societies all across the globe, women carry an extraordinary load. We are expected to be excellent mothers, perfect daughters, and supportive sisters. At work, we often find ourselves working harder for less money than our male colleagues, and at school we often study hard to get high grades to make up for the hiring discrimination awaiting us in the “real world.” It is definitely not easy being a woman, and it is even more difficult being an African woman.

Due to various circumstances, we often find ourselves juggling many roles and responsibilities at one time. Women often carry the load of being mothers, workers and students. Lifestyles such as these are often birthed out of necessity, and as a result sleep deprivation and stress can become the norm. However, it is important for every woman to know when to “call it quits.” When I say “call it quits,” I don’t mean quitting on life, or on your responsibilities, but I want to stress the importance of taking a break and taking time for yourself.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and our bodies are capable of withstanding so much. We can go very far and work hard for years, but that’s not what God created us to do. Our bodies are His temple, and we must treat them as such. I’m sure you would never deface a church or a cathedral, but we often wouldn’t think twice before pulling an all-nighter or going days without a healthy meal. Please, take care of yourself and take time for you. It is crucial to take some time each day to “call it quits.” Your body will thank you.

Tags: life breaks, making time for self

Shattering the “Glass Ceiling”

It can be argued that being both African and female present a uniquely difficult challenge to a young woman with lofty aspirations. In African, European, and other Western societies such as the United States, Caucasian males generally benefit from a two-fold advantage, both financially and hierarchically throughout their careers. Being a male of African descent is difficult as well, but gender still plays a role and minimizes the disadvantage. Though this news can be quite discouraging, it should by no means present a hindrance to the aspiring professional.

The African-American Civil Rights Movement proved that determined perseverance can open many doors that had previously been locked. Women are increasingly entering positions that previously had been out of reach. The 2008 United States election saw multiple women candidates for office, and Latin America has elected multiple female heads of state in recent years. Progress is even being made in Africa, as seen with the Executive President of Liberia, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, who entered office in 2006 after much adversity. She was exiled along with the deposed government in 1980, and in 1985 she returned only to be placed under house arrest for two years. She ran for presidential office in 1997 and lost. She tried again, and won in the 2005 election. Her story is a testament to African women that perseverance is essential to victory.

Think about your dreams. Do many say that you’re aiming too high? Greatness is never born from seeking to only do what has been done. The only thing that will ever separate women like you and me from the heroines of history is persistence and will. Purpose in your heart what you want to accomplish, commit it to God, and by His grace, you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. (Philippians 4:13)

Wish There Were More of You? How to Clone Yourself

Whether she is a mother, a wife or living independently, we as women can find ourselves feeling like the busiest people on earth. The demands placed on our lives by hard work, living situations and our personal lives can wear us out quickly. Do you find yourself getting little sleep on a regular basis? Do your relationships suffer because you can’t make time for your loved ones? Do you wish there was more of you, so you could get more done in less time? Here’s how to clone yourself.

First, seek the kingdom of God. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God…and all these things will be added unto you.” When you put God first in your life, everything will fall into place, from work life to relationships. He will even work miracles for you when necessary. Give God a chance to prove Himself in your life and you will see results.

Second, write down your goals. A Yale study showed that in a class of students, 3% wrote down their goals and aspirations. Those 3% were in the top of their fields 20 years later and each person was wealthier than the other 97% combined. Writing down your goals makes you more mentally committed to them and increases your focus.

Finally, take care of yourself. Those who travel often find that the most reliable car is a well-maintained one. Remember that you only get one body. Make sure to eat healthy meals regularly, drink enough water and as much as possible, get enough sleep. A healthy body can take you much farther than a tired, hungry one.

Follow these tips and you will be able to accomplish more in a day. Keep God first, stay focused and take care of yourself and your efforts will reward you.

Tags: accomplishing aspirations, accomplishing goals, seeking god

Name Issues

What is in a name? Does your name define you?  Does your name make you feel uncomfortable?

One of the most important things about a person is his or her name.  Our name is something we should be proud of, but that is not always the case.  In some African households, there are teens and young adults not too fond of their African names, otherwise known as traditional names. I believe this discomfort is possibly rooted in a few reasons: shame of their heritage; people constantly mispronouncing their name; or desiring a Western name

The truth is that our names are a beautiful part of who we are; they also set us apart from each other.  Your name does not define you. Just because you have the same name as someone else does not mean the person shares your identity; the name is simply a wrapper. The value of a package is not found in the wrappings but the contents. Similarly, your name does not affect your character or your worth as a person.

A name change does not change your worth or your character. All I know is that no matter what your name is, it does not change who you truly are deep inside.  Learn to embrace your name and its uniqueness.  There is no one like you.  Be proud of who you are, and that includes your name

Tags: african names, importance of names, meaning of names, traditional names, uniqueness of names

You Need To Gain Weight

As a young African woman, I know how the weight issue plays a large part in how the African community views skinny women.  I would like to expound further on the above statement.

In the African community, a plump woman is considered to be more beautiful as opposed to a skinny woman.  As far as some Africans are concerned; if a woman is skinny then she probably is sick.  This weight issue is even true when it comes to relationships.

Some African men tend to desire women who are more on the plump side than on the skinny side.  I have heard some African men say things like: “I want something to hold on to” or “I do not want a skinny woman because I will break her when I try to hug her.”  My heart goes out especially to married couples.  I do not understand why a skinny married woman is supposedly not being treated well by her husband.  It is not the same judgment passed if the married woman were plump.  So some people in the African community have the skewed perspective that it is highly likely that a skinny wife will be neglected by her husband, whereas, a plump wife will be well taken care of.

Honestly, real women come in all shapes and sizes.  As long as your health is not at risk, do not be ashamed of how God created you.  No one has the right to judge you or try to change who you are.  You are beautiful no matter your size.

Tags: african community, african men, skinny women, views of skinny women, weight issue

To Be or not to Be Submissive?

For those who are familiar with the Bible, a quick way to stir up controversy among women is to bring up the topic of submission. The most famous Bible text regarding this (Ephesians 5:22) states: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” The quoting of this text often incites swift responses such as, “I’m not going to let a man walk over me!” or “This doesn’t apply anymore! It’s the 21^st century!” These reactions are usually heated and emotional, but the passion behind them doesn’t necessarily mean that they are in line with sound reasoning. Learning the art of submission is essential in every woman’s path to becoming her ideal lady.

Submission is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as, “The state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.” Being submissive is important in healthy relationships because concessions are often more effective in gaining and maintaining peace than compromise. With a compromise, nobody is happy. With a concession, one person is pleased to receive, and the other, to give. Submission is a great gift that adds health to every relationship. However, it surely has its limits. Submission is not meant for a woman to endure any abuse. In the same way the Bible encourages women to submit to their husbands, it also encourages husbands to love their wives as themselves, even to the point of death. There is no way abuse falls within these guidelines. Submission is not an order for women to be “door mats” for people to walk on.

Most importantly, submission is not only useful within the confines of a marriage, but also extremely helpful in other settings.  Submission can be less defined as weakness and more as humility. Humility will take you far in school, at work, and in friendships. No ideal woman can exist without a great measure of humility. Those who humble themselves will eventually be elevated. I encourage you to embrace your submissive side, and take notice of the results you will reap. Your personal, academic, and professional lives will likely be much more peaceful once you add a little humility to your demeanor. Now you’re one step closer to your ideal self!

Tags: being submissive, ideal woman, meaning of submission, submission, submissive women, topic of submission

Black and Female? African Women’s Struggles for Credibility

From seemingly ancient times to the current day, being African or of African descent has automatically placed aspiring students and professionals at the bottom of an uphill battle. There was a time where it was scientifically accepted as fact that Africans were anatomically disadvantaged and incapable of reaching advanced levels of intelligence. This struggle has left deep scars in the heritage and memory of Africans, yet the stigma is further compounded by a simultaneous struggle against gender discrimination.

Africans have faced discrimination for centuries, yet women have been marginalized for much, much longer. In the Bible, it was shown that women were being marginalized as early as the first century AD, and it is highly likely that the suffering of women has gone back even farther. Sadly, in the same way, Africans have not fully recovered from their age of plight and the same is equally true for women. This brings to mind the question of how we, as women, can survive the double burden.

In the professional world, women have fiercely struggled against what is known as the “Glass ceiling.” This “Glass ceiling” is an invisible but firm limit on women’s professional mobility, and has caused countless cases of qualified women to be passed over for promotions given to equally or less qualified men. This practice is also found in academic settings, where according to civilrights.org, women face discrimination in attaining higher degrees especially in fields such as Math and Science.

Despite the unfavorable conditions we face as women, there are glimmers of hope. In an age of female prime ministers and heads of state, women are reaching new heights and chipping away at this “glass ceiling,” many of whom are women of color.

There are no heights that we cannot reach, and no goal that we cannot attain. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” I encourage you to take this text as a personal mantra and challenge yourself to reach greater heights. Young black girls and women everywhere will appreciate your contribution to their futures.

Tags: african women struggles, gender discrimination, gender inequality, glass ceiling

Gender What?

From a young age, society would create separate roles for males and females. It is assumed that a boy should wear blue and a girl pink. Boys should aspire to be firefighters and policemen while girls should aspire to be models and teachers. This is the stereotypical norm, but what happens when the girl desires to be a firefighter or a policewoman? What if the boy aspires to be a model? Are these children now to be considered wrong or should they be assumed to be homosexual in some way?

Over the past few decades, women have tremendously progressed worldwide in equality and gender perception. However, in some cultures including many African cultures, men and women are still placed in arbitrary pigeonholes. But is this right? Should young men and women limit their possibilities simply because of “how we do things?” In the age of female presidents and CEOs, could it be that many of us Africans need to let go of outdated views and stereotypes?

Growing up, it has been an inspiration to see the various jobs my mother has worked. Growing up in Ghana, my mother was a teacher, and she also worked as a firefighter, rising to very high ranks within her profession. I could imagine that even in today’s world, many men would have an issue with a firefighter wife. Seeing my mother not only hold this job but do it well has shown me that as women there is no job we cannot excel in. We should not allow society or others to dictate limits on our dreams. Dream big, dream widely and dream vividly!

Tags: african cultures, gender inequality, gender perception